Rating Playing it safe with NC-17, may be an R though.
Content: swearing, slash (m/m relationships) talk of sex
Category: Script, slight humour
Summary: Raven's reunited with his old friends at the Federation Unification Party.
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to the characters or names, WWF do. No copyright infringement intended. No life choices implied - this is pure fiction.
Distribution: Sure just let me know where.
Note: I was completely bored while I got the idea for this. It's completely pointless but hey, it passes the time!
SETTING: WWF, ECW and WCW unification party in WWF New York. Some of the guys are drinking and joking in a booth overlooking the dancefloor.
Raven: (approaching booth.) Hey guys! Long time no see.
Dreamer: Shit, man, how ya doin?
Raven: I'm cool. Miss me?
Awesome: You? You fuckin kiddin?
Raven: You love me really. Chris?
Kanyon: Not seen you in ages man!
Raven: (sits down) I see we have the...pleasure of Tazz n Terry's company.
Tazz: Hey! Fuck you! Don't like it? Get the fuck off my table!
Rhyno: (Batting eyelashes) Oh I've missed you sooo much big boy!
Raven: How cute! The guy can't go like...two hours without me. (Pretends to wipe eyes) I'm filling up! Hang on...where's Billy?
Awesome: Kidman? He's somewhere chatting to Saturn and the other WCW crew.
Dreamer: So, you here with anyone? Or you still fucking ringrats?
Raven: (smiling) I'm attached...
Awesome: Shit! You? Mr 'Terminally Single'? Attached?
Raven: Yes Mike, me!
Raven: Guess! Tazz, Terry shut it! Don't tell them!
Kanyon: In the WWF?
Awesome: A clue?
Raven: HE's in this room.
Tazz: Big fucker! Ugly son of a bitch!
Raven: (Laughing) $10 to the guy with the greatest powers of perception. (Puts a $10 note on the table)
Dreamer: (Looking round) Oh you fuck! You fucking dog! I know who it is!
Raven: Shhh! See if they get it.
(Tazz n Rhyno crack up)
Raven: That lanky streak of piss? I think not! Chris? Any ideas?
Kanyon: Not a clue...erm...
(Raven waves the $10)
Kanyon: (looking round) You're not still fucking Stevie are you?
Raven: (offers note but snatches it back) Tommy?
Dreamer: Jeff...Fucking...Hardy! (Raven hands over the money)
Awesome: No way!
Raven: (grinning) Yep!
Awesome: Way to go Scotty!
Raven: You know me too well Tommy. What gave it away?
Dreamer: You mean apart from the slave collar?
Kanyon: Oh man! I thought that was a fashion statement. I was gonna make a move on him too!
Raven: Knock yourself out. He'll decline. Word of warning...touch him and you answer to me!
Kanyon: I'll just wait for your next 'party'.
Raven: I don't host those kinds of parties anymore. I'm clean and sober. (waves water bottle) And as far as Jeff goes, I'm not sharing. He's mine and mine alone! Get your own!
Kanyon: (pouts) No fair!
Awesome: I never thought he'd be 'that' naive! How the Hell you manage to lure him in?
Tazz: Naive? Jeff? Don't let him fool you. There's nothing naive about Jeff!
Rhyno: Ain't that the truth!
Kanyon: I can't believe you got your hands on him...I hate you!
(Raven flashes him a grin)
Dreamer: So what's he like? He's the bitch I take it.
Raven: Fuck off Tommy, he ain't a bitch!
Awesome: He's the dom then?
Raven: Mike! It's always fucking black and white with you isn't it? Alright, you guys really wanna know? I'll tell ya. He's NOT a bitch; he's not in the least bit feminine. He's got this really complex, strong will, a cool sense of humour, brilliant outlook on life. As far as the relationship goes it's pretty much 50/50. We compromise. Never thought I'd say that! The bedroom on the other hand, now that's a completely different story...
Dreamer: (closes eyes, starting to melt) He's sub isn't he?
Raven: Is he ever! And a bendy one at that! (grins) He's a masochist too!
Dreamer: (sliding down seat) Oh you fucking bastard...
(Various affirmative noises round the table)
Kanyon: (drooling over Jeff on the dancefloor) So he's not a twink?
Raven: Not in the slightest. He's just a little...eccentric!
Tazz: Eccentric? Man! He's weird! One minute he's all happy and random, next thing he's looking at you like he's about to rip your throat out and fuck you while he's doin it!
Raven: That's my boy!
Rhyno: I've seen that look! Gives me the creeps.
Raven: Nah! You're safe; he's under my 'expert' control.
Awesome: (pondering) Scotty? Don't bite my head off or anything. But...have you ever bottomed?
Raven: Random question! Sure why?
Kanyon: To Jeff?
Raven: Occasionally why?
Kanyon: (laughing) You bottom to a sub? Man, you're going soft!
Raven: You wanna test that theory?
Kanyon: (puts fists up, grinning) Yeah I'm young, supple, tough...
Raven: (reaching over table, grabs Kanyon) I'm older, stronger, harder and more fucking experienced! You still want to test your fucking theory?
Kanyon: Fuck Scotty, chill! Shit! I was joking! I'm sorry ok?
(Raven releases Kanyon, everyone breathes a sigh of relief)
Dreamer: Jesus Chris. Could you get any stupider?
Kanyon: There's no such word as stupider!
Awesome: I see your lisp hasn't improved!
Rhyno: Can everyone just take a fucking chill pill? Kanyon, think before you open your mouth and the rest of you just stop picking on him! It's like fucking kindergarten in here!
Awesome: Sorry boss! So...Scotty. You're this domineering, take no shit from anyone sadist. Why do you bottom?
Raven: Why? (amused) You've never bottomed have you?
Awesome: FUCK NO!
Raven: Shit... (shakes head) Chris! Why'd you bottom?
Kanyon: Cos! It's better than topping!
Awesome: Oh, spoken like a true sub.
Raven: He's kinda right though...
Awesome: Oh fuck! Not you too?
Dreamer: (smiles at Raven) Sometimes...
Awesome: How the fuck is it better? Fucking hurts man!
Raven: But it's a different kind of hurt, a good hurt. I mean, I love to top and Jeff's unbelievably responsive. Having him surrender everything to me, screaming out beneath me, with this look, like pain mixed with complete and utter ecstasy, it just fucking blows me away y'know? But that expression says it all. Sure, it hurts but it's fucking unreal. When you're being pounded so hard you can barely breathe and each thrust jabs your prostate. It's like this little orgasm just washes over you each time it hits, like you wanna shoot your load but you can't. Each time they hit. And it's relentless. Bam! Bam! Bam! It just keeps coming. It just builds and builds; then they're jacking you off at the same time. Fucking sensation just doubles! I swear you cum so fucking hard you see stars man! There's nothing like it...
Awesome: (jaw on floor) Shit...really?
Kanyon: Hell yeah! You've been missing out!
Tazz: (laughing) Man, the look on your faces, it's classic! You guys look so desperate to be fucked right now you'd bend over for anyone!
Kanyon: (looking up) Oh...me first...
Jeff: (sweating and panting, fresh off the dancefloor) Hey!
Raven: Hey Puppy! Guys, move over, let him sit down.
(Everyone shuffles over and Jeff flops down next to Raven. Closing his eyes, he collapses his head back and smiles, still panting)
Dreamer: Man...you look fucked!
Kanyon: (whimpers) literally...
Jeff: Nah...my smile...would be...bigger.
Jeff: Scott...gimme some...water! (takes a drink, lets some dribble down his chin onto his throat.)
(Kanyon's visibly drooling. Mike shuts his jaw)
Raven: See? This is why I don't dance!
Tazz: Cos you got no co-ordination!
Raven: No! Because I hate being in that state!
Jeff: (eyes still closed) Hmmm...no you don't...
Raven: Unless it's accompanied by a mind-blowing orgasm that is.
Jeff: (grinning) Later...I promise!
(Kanyon whines and flops his head on the table)
Jeff: I'm fucked...from the dancefloor...and he collapses?
Awesome: You were fucked on the dancefloor?
Jeff: Figure...of speech! Don't jerk off over it!
Tazz: (laughing) He cracks me up! I love this kid!
Raven: (smiling at Jeff) Me too...
Dreamer: Oh fuck!
Dreamer: (looks disgusted) You're in love?
Raven: So? I'm not embarrassed!
Dreamer: Fucking world's going insane, man! I swear!
Jeff: (drops head on Raven's shoulder) So what's up with Chris?
Raven: He has a crush! He's suffering from Jeffy overload at the moment!
Jeff: Awww I'm touched.
Rhyno: Chris! For fuck's sake get a grip!
Awesome: Of what?
Jeff: (laughing) Hey, you ok down there?
Kanyon: (squeakily) Yes...
Jeff: You sound a little breathless. You ain't jackin off are ya?
Kanyon: Not yet...
Tazz: Couple minutes in the men's room he'll be fine!
Dreamer: Couple of minutes? That's ambitious!
Awesome: Yeah the boy's had plenty of practice...got it down to a fine art now.
Raven: If he doesn't go soon he's gonna offload in his pants! But when it comes to jackin off...
Everyone: Who better than KANYON?
Jeff: (laughing) You guys are so mean!
Kanyon: I hate you lot! (raises head) I'm off for a piss!
Rhyno: Yeah right! Don't sprain your wrist shaking it off will ya?
(Kanyon jumps over the table and walks to the men's room, clinging to the shred of dignity he has left. Raven pulls a loose fist and shakes it behind Kanyon's back)
Awesome: $5 says he'll be out in one minute.
Raven: Don't be stupid! He'll stay in there longer than that in some feeble attempt to impress.
Dreamer: Don't put any money down! (jumps over table)
Tazz: Where the fuck are you going?
Dreamer: To make use of Kanyon's...vulnerable position.
Awesome: Me next!
Dreamer: He'll be in no state, trust me!
Rhyno: You lot are like a bunch of horny teenagers!
Raven: EVIL! (at Tommy) Go easy on him! But go NOW or he'll be finished.
(Tommy rushes off to the toilets)
Jeff: Weird...Tommy doesn't seem at all sadistic.
Tazz: Not all sharks come bearing teeth!
Raven: Now don't be jealous Puppy! They'll BOTH be thinking of you!
Tazz: Your sick fuck boyfriend has a way with words!
Jeff: (cringing) What's he said? Oh I love this song...
Shannon: (From out of nowhere) Mr Levy, do you mind if I have this dance?
Jeff: Shanny, I'm too shattered to dance!
Raven: Go for it!
Jeff: SCOTTY? You're supposed to protect me from evil people like him!
Raven: Oh yeah Shanny's all that!
Shannon: (grinning) All that an' a bag o' chips baby! You! Dance!
Jeff: (being dragged off the bench) Scott Levy you are the Devil incarnate!
Raven: No! I think you'll find that's Tommy! I'm just a sadist! Have fun! (waves, grinning as Jeff is dragged kicking and screaming back to the torture of the dancefloor)